Today is my husband's 34th birthday. In honor of him, I want to share some things I love about him. This is the short list. There are MANY more.
He is a traditional kinda guy, in many ways. He is strong, both mentally and physically, but he is also human which helps us to relate. He believes in being responsible, and takes pride in taking care of us. He has old values, which almost no one has anymore. He believes in being the kind of man that you just don't see much of anymore.
He loves and values me and he makes an effort to show it regularly. He loves my strengths, and even some of my flaws. The rest--he just accepts.
He loves our baby girl, and my two kids too. He treats them all as equal and shows them love in various ways. He counts it a good thing to be able to take part in raising them. He takes that "job" quite seriously. And he makes them respect me.
He makes effort everyday to be what each of us need. Even though he is human and is far from perfect, he makes consistent efforts that show us his love quite abundantly, even in ways that don't come naturally to him. More important than getting it right are his efforts, which speak volumes.
He is the touchy-feely type, which balances me out. I'm not that way but him being that way has opened me up to him more than I ever imagined.
He is willing to do whatever it takes--for any of us, at any time.
He isn't a complainer, unlike me at times.
He makes me feel safe. His strength, and his willingness all come together to allow me to be a woman (for a change in my previous experiences).
He lets me "in" more each day. And I know him like no one else does.
He loves The Lord Jesus Christ, and seeks Him through His word. I can see how the Lord has "grown" him in so many ways. His decision to "do it right" by seeking the one true God tells us how important we are that he wants to do right by us AND that his priorities are straight. What better way to honor your family than to seek God in it?
Happy Birthday to the love of my life, Chris Travis. He truly is my Mr. Incredible.
Showing posts with label Chris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chris. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
About a Year Ago --a Testimony
Once upon a time. my life was an absolute disaster. I was a statistic.
I was born to unwed parents, both of them were young and made plenty of their own bad choices. I was raised by a single mother, who worked hard everyday of her life to make sure we ate, and sometimes we barely did. I've seen my mom beaten more times than I can count. I saw my dad for two months out of the summer. I had one set of grandparents, unlike most kids, but I rarely saw them either--although they were wonderful enough to make up for the other two I never knew.
I was a statistic...waiting to happen.
I was saved by the blood of my Lord and Savior at 19 years old. I had a good pastor who directed me my walk, encouraging me to serve the Lord with all my heart and soul. Still, there was so much I didn't grasp. I knew I couldn't live life my way but I still had this strong-willed flesh to contend with. That pastor later moved after having losing his precious wife.
I married young-- to my first husband. We thought we wanted the same things but looking back, we were never on the same page although we both were Christians. Because I grew up unsheltered to many things, I wanted protection for my kids--from instability, from the abuse I've seen, from the poor life I'd seen enough of. Because my young husband and I never fully put God first, the marriage feel apart just after my son was born. I then struggled to raise two kids (8 years old and 6 months old) on my own. I went about the seperation the wrong way, and perhaps someday God will have me tell that story.
I knew Chris, my current husband, since he had previously worked with my first husband and later helped him find a job with my employer. Chris had never been married, nor had any children of his own at the time. We had so many issues of our own that together our issues had the potential for an atomic bomb. He and I fought terribly, worse than I did with my first husband. But ultimately we agreed that neither of us never loved anyone else the way we loved each other. We grew closer, and married a couple years later when he was 31 and I was 32.
Just before we married, God spoke to me one day as I was driving alone. He pointed to the issues we had using some then recent circumstances and said to me,
The first year was hard, just as to be expected. But we had more junk than a "normal" couple. We had blended families, insecurities and a level of selfishness I'm embarrassed to admit. I had junk from my childhood and my first marriage and then of course he had his own. Things were bad. There wasn't a weekend that went by where we didn't fight. The more we fought, the more urgently and frequently we began to seek Him. Although the realization had been made that I couldn't do this without the Lord, it was sinking in faster than I could manage keep up.
I don't think I've ever before had that much of a sense of urgency over any other situation. It's amazing how many times we humans will try to do things on our own, knowing our ways do not work and knowing just how limited we really are. In marriage, two people bring their junk, and then God brings them together in a way they never could have done on their own, if they let Him. If they don't it's all a gamble.
Tempers, selfishness, insecurities--we have them, but things are nothing like they were. Add a blended family to the mix and POW, what a concoction. We've had things to contend with that normal families never face. And on top of it all, we've both had family members from one side or the other threatening to force us over the edge at some point. Things got really bad...
About a year ago, after Juliette was born, we started coming together on some things. Then, just as the seasons change, God started making changes in each of us so subtly that neither of us noticed for a while. I think I speak for the both of us when I say this: When we looked up to see what God had done for our marriage, it seemed nothing shy of a miracle. And it was...as it continues to be.
The things He continues to do in me and my husband continue to humble me. Neither of us could have survived this marriage with our old ways in place. True changes that come from within, MUST involve Him, or our old natures will always threaten come back up.We don't argue near about as often, and when we do those arguments are rather mild in comparison. We're both more willing to put ourselves aside for the other, and in turn our love has grown a thousand times more. We've struggled through a lot of things, both my issues and Chris', seeking the Lord and His way.
Looking back, I had no idea what I was doing or even how to seek Him, I was just reaching because I just knew I needed Him. But that's just where He starts his work. Before this point in my life, I've never had so many answered prayers. He renews me and my life everyday, as though none of the past counts against me. Because of Him, I am not a statistic, and neither is my marriage.
Once upon a time. my life was an absolute disaster. I was a statistic. But God (renews broken hearts and lives.)
I was born to unwed parents, both of them were young and made plenty of their own bad choices. I was raised by a single mother, who worked hard everyday of her life to make sure we ate, and sometimes we barely did. I've seen my mom beaten more times than I can count. I saw my dad for two months out of the summer. I had one set of grandparents, unlike most kids, but I rarely saw them either--although they were wonderful enough to make up for the other two I never knew.
I was a statistic...waiting to happen.
I was saved by the blood of my Lord and Savior at 19 years old. I had a good pastor who directed me my walk, encouraging me to serve the Lord with all my heart and soul. Still, there was so much I didn't grasp. I knew I couldn't live life my way but I still had this strong-willed flesh to contend with. That pastor later moved after having losing his precious wife.
I married young-- to my first husband. We thought we wanted the same things but looking back, we were never on the same page although we both were Christians. Because I grew up unsheltered to many things, I wanted protection for my kids--from instability, from the abuse I've seen, from the poor life I'd seen enough of. Because my young husband and I never fully put God first, the marriage feel apart just after my son was born. I then struggled to raise two kids (8 years old and 6 months old) on my own. I went about the seperation the wrong way, and perhaps someday God will have me tell that story.
I knew Chris, my current husband, since he had previously worked with my first husband and later helped him find a job with my employer. Chris had never been married, nor had any children of his own at the time. We had so many issues of our own that together our issues had the potential for an atomic bomb. He and I fought terribly, worse than I did with my first husband. But ultimately we agreed that neither of us never loved anyone else the way we loved each other. We grew closer, and married a couple years later when he was 31 and I was 32.
Just before we married, God spoke to me one day as I was driving alone. He pointed to the issues we had using some then recent circumstances and said to me,
"Knowing all this, do you really think you can make this marriage work on your own?"Although all the pieces didn't come together in that moment, I knew that if I could not make my first marriage work, I could not make this one work without putting Him first. I can honestly say, I've never truly had that realization before that moment--not even in my first marriage.
The first year was hard, just as to be expected. But we had more junk than a "normal" couple. We had blended families, insecurities and a level of selfishness I'm embarrassed to admit. I had junk from my childhood and my first marriage and then of course he had his own. Things were bad. There wasn't a weekend that went by where we didn't fight. The more we fought, the more urgently and frequently we began to seek Him. Although the realization had been made that I couldn't do this without the Lord, it was sinking in faster than I could manage keep up.
I don't think I've ever before had that much of a sense of urgency over any other situation. It's amazing how many times we humans will try to do things on our own, knowing our ways do not work and knowing just how limited we really are. In marriage, two people bring their junk, and then God brings them together in a way they never could have done on their own, if they let Him. If they don't it's all a gamble.
Tempers, selfishness, insecurities--we have them, but things are nothing like they were. Add a blended family to the mix and POW, what a concoction. We've had things to contend with that normal families never face. And on top of it all, we've both had family members from one side or the other threatening to force us over the edge at some point. Things got really bad...
About a year ago, after Juliette was born, we started coming together on some things. Then, just as the seasons change, God started making changes in each of us so subtly that neither of us noticed for a while. I think I speak for the both of us when I say this: When we looked up to see what God had done for our marriage, it seemed nothing shy of a miracle. And it was...as it continues to be.
The things He continues to do in me and my husband continue to humble me. Neither of us could have survived this marriage with our old ways in place. True changes that come from within, MUST involve Him, or our old natures will always threaten come back up.We don't argue near about as often, and when we do those arguments are rather mild in comparison. We're both more willing to put ourselves aside for the other, and in turn our love has grown a thousand times more. We've struggled through a lot of things, both my issues and Chris', seeking the Lord and His way.
Looking back, I had no idea what I was doing or even how to seek Him, I was just reaching because I just knew I needed Him. But that's just where He starts his work. Before this point in my life, I've never had so many answered prayers. He renews me and my life everyday, as though none of the past counts against me. Because of Him, I am not a statistic, and neither is my marriage.
Once upon a time. my life was an absolute disaster. I was a statistic. But God (renews broken hearts and lives.)
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Intimacy Through Talking
Communicating is my very basic need, sometimes even before food or sleep. But we all have a need to connect with others, in some way, shape or form. When things go wrong, we want to be given comfort and direction. During happy moments, we typically want to share our joy with the world.
Who do you run to when times get tough? Who shares your happiest moments with you? For me, it's my husband. It doesn't mean I don't ever open up to anyone else but it does mean that Chris always knows what's going on in my life and that I withhold nothing from him. We agreed when we married that we want to be and stay each others very best friend.
I'm a talker. I need to talk things through with someone to feel secure, to feel close, to understand and to serve as a sort of check and balance for myself. My best friend isn't a talker. But he's making the effort to try to talk more because he knows I need it. In turn, I have to learn to shut up and listen to what he has to say. And I'm always glad when I do.
Sometimes, because of my nature, I run to Chris and later realize that God wanted me to run to Him. It wasn't wrong to discuss it with Chris, or get his opinion. But God wanted me to run to Him first and rely solely on Him and His strength to get me through. Many times, when I talk to Chris, I expect the mere conversation to supply with me that sense of calm that I should be relying on God to supply.
I crave intimacy with Chris. The way for me to get that is through communicating. I'm also learning that God wants me to have that same desire for intimacy for him. When I do He blesses me beyond anything I can put into words. He's teaching me that my relationship with Him is a lot like my marriage: If I want this relationship to work, I have to become less self-centered (die to self), confide in Him, and learn to shut up sometimes.
Who do you run to when times get tough? Who shares your happiest moments with you? For me, it's my husband. It doesn't mean I don't ever open up to anyone else but it does mean that Chris always knows what's going on in my life and that I withhold nothing from him. We agreed when we married that we want to be and stay each others very best friend.
I'm a talker. I need to talk things through with someone to feel secure, to feel close, to understand and to serve as a sort of check and balance for myself. My best friend isn't a talker. But he's making the effort to try to talk more because he knows I need it. In turn, I have to learn to shut up and listen to what he has to say. And I'm always glad when I do.
Sometimes, because of my nature, I run to Chris and later realize that God wanted me to run to Him. It wasn't wrong to discuss it with Chris, or get his opinion. But God wanted me to run to Him first and rely solely on Him and His strength to get me through. Many times, when I talk to Chris, I expect the mere conversation to supply with me that sense of calm that I should be relying on God to supply.
I crave intimacy with Chris. The way for me to get that is through communicating. I'm also learning that God wants me to have that same desire for intimacy for him. When I do He blesses me beyond anything I can put into words. He's teaching me that my relationship with Him is a lot like my marriage: If I want this relationship to work, I have to become less self-centered (die to self), confide in Him, and learn to shut up sometimes.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Music in My Mind
Before I married my husband, I listened to country, pop, rock, and a little bit of everything in between. Of course, like anyone else, I thought nothing of it. My music didn't have lyrics of murder and rape and obvious crimes, you know. There was no "blatant" disrespect of God. So why not?
Chris first approached me while we were dating. He explained how the music I listed to isn't really all that healthy for me and how I should listen to healthier things. I really thought he was being judgmental and harsh and dismissed him as clueless and closed-minded. I mean, everyone else listened to the things I did. How could it be all that bad?
Right about the time we got married, he approached me again. This time he was determined to change the things that we as a family were listening to. And he wasn't really asking anymore, although he wasn't demanding in an overbearing way. And I wasn't fighting anymore because by that time I realized that since he is now my husband I should respect him by respecting his decisions (whatever they may be) to do right with and for us. Nevertheless, I still carried some reluctancy in my heart.
During the times when he was in the car with me, we kept Christian music on the radio. Early on, when it was just me, I'd change the station to get my fix on MY music. Over time, I began to see a change in me that seemed to spark from the "healthier stuff" and I eventually began listening to Christian music on my own. Today, I rarely ever listen to anything else. It took a long time to change my habits, much less my desires. But now that I'm here I see just how much the lyrics affected my heart and my perspectives. I am ever so grateful and humbled to be able to see from this side of the fence.
Listen to the words in your music. Does it promote Godly happiness and purity of heart? Does it praise God or uplift mankind's ego? Do the lyrics speak of drinking, partying and lustful acts? Does it speak of things you know you wouldn't do in the sight of a preacher, your mother/father, or even God? Does it focus on loss, wrong-doings or not so great thoughts? Does it leave you feeling depressed, sad or even in the mood to do something ungodly/stupid?
What mood does it leave you with? What do you learn from the song?
Does it build you up in your Christian walk? If not, it's unhealthy to you whether you realize it or not. Here are some scriptures that basically tell us to guard our minds and hearts from anything unheatlhy/ungodly.
I challenge you to think about what your music is doing to you, and how it's affecting your spiritual, mental and emotional state. I can relate to feeling reluctant to change. I don't dare judge you for that. We all want to "fit in" to some extent as well. We all have these struggles at first.
Another factor here is that many people deem Christian music as "dorky" or "weird". In our day in time, there are various formats of Christian music so that everyone can listen in keeping with their own style preferences.
I challenge you to try it. Find something/someone you like who only sings Christian-based lyrics. You'll notice that your mindset and the desires of your heart will begin to change. You'll find yourself praising God, and in turn being blessed in ways you never realized were possible. If you stick with it, your habits of old will change too.
You have only to gain, nothing to lose.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3
Chris first approached me while we were dating. He explained how the music I listed to isn't really all that healthy for me and how I should listen to healthier things. I really thought he was being judgmental and harsh and dismissed him as clueless and closed-minded. I mean, everyone else listened to the things I did. How could it be all that bad?
Right about the time we got married, he approached me again. This time he was determined to change the things that we as a family were listening to. And he wasn't really asking anymore, although he wasn't demanding in an overbearing way. And I wasn't fighting anymore because by that time I realized that since he is now my husband I should respect him by respecting his decisions (whatever they may be) to do right with and for us. Nevertheless, I still carried some reluctancy in my heart.
During the times when he was in the car with me, we kept Christian music on the radio. Early on, when it was just me, I'd change the station to get my fix on MY music. Over time, I began to see a change in me that seemed to spark from the "healthier stuff" and I eventually began listening to Christian music on my own. Today, I rarely ever listen to anything else. It took a long time to change my habits, much less my desires. But now that I'm here I see just how much the lyrics affected my heart and my perspectives. I am ever so grateful and humbled to be able to see from this side of the fence.
Listen to the words in your music. Does it promote Godly happiness and purity of heart? Does it praise God or uplift mankind's ego? Do the lyrics speak of drinking, partying and lustful acts? Does it speak of things you know you wouldn't do in the sight of a preacher, your mother/father, or even God? Does it focus on loss, wrong-doings or not so great thoughts? Does it leave you feeling depressed, sad or even in the mood to do something ungodly/stupid?
What mood does it leave you with? What do you learn from the song?
Does it build you up in your Christian walk? If not, it's unhealthy to you whether you realize it or not. Here are some scriptures that basically tell us to guard our minds and hearts from anything unheatlhy/ungodly.
- Matthew 12:30 says, "Anyone who isn't with me opposes me, and anyone who isn't working with me is actually working against me."
- Proverbs 4:23 says, " Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."
- Romans 12:2 says, " Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
- Philippians 4:8 tells us, "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
I challenge you to think about what your music is doing to you, and how it's affecting your spiritual, mental and emotional state. I can relate to feeling reluctant to change. I don't dare judge you for that. We all want to "fit in" to some extent as well. We all have these struggles at first.
Another factor here is that many people deem Christian music as "dorky" or "weird". In our day in time, there are various formats of Christian music so that everyone can listen in keeping with their own style preferences.
I challenge you to try it. Find something/someone you like who only sings Christian-based lyrics. You'll notice that your mindset and the desires of your heart will begin to change. You'll find yourself praising God, and in turn being blessed in ways you never realized were possible. If you stick with it, your habits of old will change too.
You have only to gain, nothing to lose.
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16:3
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