For years and years I was tortured
By bouts of extreme loneliness.
They came from no where.
The hurt and unexplainable
feeling of being unloved
Were just too much so often.
And in my head, I heard,
"You're just a statistic."
But it didn't come from me.
It took years before I knew
That it was a lie from the enemy of my soul.
Still, I wanted to rise above it,
I tried to the self-esteme thing
And other forms of worldly wisdom.
But none of that ever helped me.
I looked for others
to fill my empty tank.
But my suffering went unchanged.
He grabbed me up in the midst
Of one of those tormenting bouts.
When there was no person near
To help me out.
He reminded me of His truths,
Written in His Word.
He showed me His love
And His presence -
All while it contradicted my feelings.
He showed me that He is always near
And then asked me the question,
"Do you believe me?"
I realized then that although faith is a gift,
It's also a choice.
It's a choice to take His Word
Above any so-called contradictory evidence.
He reinforced to me
That although my feelings will change,
He never does.
His love for me, and each of us,
Has and always will be.
He is near,
And we only need to trust that.
He wants us to give Him our worst,
Trust Him with our hearts and
Be real with Him.
It is in those moments,
He reveals Himself, too.