I've hit rock bottom so many times over the course of my life, and many of those have occurred after of which I was saved. I don't know many people who haven't, but I know many who try to hide it. It's the normal human reaction. We humans hurt, and it seems to me that that's what we do best. But is it not just as common that we tend to get hung up in our own hurt to the extent of which we can't see the hurt of those around us, or anything else for that matter? Furthermore, is it not even more common that we try to put on our masks and pretend our hearts don't ache unbearably?
Life is hard. It's a constant balancing act. Everyone one of us struggle to balance the portions on our plates that mostly consist of things we've asked for. But it's hard balancing our own hurt while continuing to walk the path of life. It's incredibly difficult to hold our heads up and put on an act that we aren't struggling. Add to that the pressure to keep yourself from toppling or caving in and you have yourself one mighty long list of things to do---no wonder we feel pressured. This explains so much of why we're all so prone to mood swings and frustration.
I don't know a single person who can say they have always been 100% transparent in that they've never hid their hurts from the world. I do it all the time and I do it to those closest to me quite often. For the most part, I hide it thinking I can move on faster if I pretend it doesn't exist. Or I hide it thinking that they'll judge me if I expose my struggles. One thing I've been convicted of is that I'm not being real or transparent when I intentionally try to cover up any my thoughts or feelings.
The good news is that, as believers, we don't have to carry everything around on our own. As a matter of fact, we don't have to carry it at all because He offers to carry it for us. But in order to give it to Him, we do have to face it, and in facing it we must be real about it. As a believer, I've come to understand that it takes courage to be real, And since He calls us to be courageous, He will take care of the details if we'll just obey.
As I lean in a little bit closer and ask God for even more insight on my pain and frustrations, the message I keep getting is that I should focus on something but my own pain but do not forget the humbling lessons of that pain in doing so. So how do we do that? Is it another juggling act, of which we set ourselves up for failure if we try it alone?
I've failed enough in my own life to know that I cannot attempt these things on my own. Even so, it takes constant reminding that I must focus on what He can do and not what I cannot do. I must not let my lack thereof prevent me from speaking truth or following His commands. If He tells me to do it, and if I seek His will wholeheartedly, He will handle the details.
The truth isn't always what we like to hear, nor is it always to the world's standards of positive thinking. The message of Christ is points to our inabilities and His abilities. It's a message telling us that we must die to self and be willing to be molded. As He molds us our vulnerabilities and issues are exposed, thus causing things to sting a bit. Therefore, we can be confident that in all of our suffering He has a plan to make us better. And we don't have to hide it.