Throwing Rocks

It’s been said that many, if not all, of the Old Testament laws were written to reveal our own hearts and our need for a savior. I’ve come to believe that. I was watching a stoning scene in the series, “The Bible” recently. Seeing it visualized served to teach me the intention I believe stoning was meant to fulfill – to serve as a mirror of our own hearts.

You see, to pick up a rock and throw it at someone takes arrogance, nerve and mean-spiritedness that hides itself deep inside the human heart. It takes blindness to our own sins and complete focus on someone else’s to start with. Even more so, it takes intent to hurt someone that only a hard heart can follow through with. Think about it – the rock is being thrown with full intention of killing “the offender” due to an injustice that those throwing rocks were just as capable of.

I don’t know about you but I’ve learned that focusing on others or the wrongs that have been done to me always causes me to stumble because it takes the place of my focus on Christ. The ugliness in our hearts simply exists because sin can only thrive in the dark. Therefore, our focus on others becomes nothing more than a scapegoat for us since it changes the focus on someone else and allows us to feel better about the junk in our own trunks. We become more and more blinded, as we look at others, about what’s in us.

Oftentimes, I judge others so quickly and so harshly when I really don’t know what circumstances led them to what they’ve done or how they live. Subconsciously, I have this idea that the way I do things is right and I’ve earned the right through my decisions to be hard on others. Yes, it sounds a bit delusional but if you are honest I bet you can identify with it.

Of course none of these thoughts are at the forefront of my mind since they hide behind prettier, more reasonable thoughts, but they are the indeed the foundation on which my thought system has rested for so long. And I think that’s what Jesus Christ meant in the Bible when He referred to the concept of surrendering all. If we are going to be overcomers in Christ Jesus, we must surrender not only our lifestyle but also our thought system and be willing to search it for gaps repeatedly.

We have to be willing to ask ourselves the hard questions. We should ask ourselves things like:

• Does this stuff I am doing, saying and living match up to the word of God?
• Am I being a tool of grace for someone else?
• Are my motives holy?
• Am I judging others for something I, myself, do?
• Am I really seeking the best interest of another person or am I seeking my own interests and glory?
• Do my words serve as an ambassador of Christ, meaning do they show others the love of God?
• Would the way I want to respond to this person bring them closer to God or push them away?
• What would/did Jesus do in this situation?

As I search my own heart, I realize that I’ve denied others the grace and mercy that I so whole-heartedly desire, and that has been so freely given to me. As much as I hate to know these things are inside of me, I rest knowing that when God reveals something it’s because He wants to cleanse it.

We throw rocks every single day, as believers. They may not be real rocks that kill but they do hinder and they do hurt. And that’s not the testimony we are called to live out. I don't say these things to scold anyone but as a lesson I feel I've regrettedly learned the hard way. If we are going to say we take our faith seriously, we must examine ourselves consistently.

Impaired Vision

I sat there, staring at the page, trying desperately to focus on the book in front of me. The uncomfortable conversation I’d just had with a loved one left me seething with anger. I needed to focus on something else but anger filled me to the brim to the extent that it had impaired my vision. No matter how much I tried to focus on my book, the only thing on the page that I could see clearly was the word:

 "Grace".

Everything else on the page was blurry, but that one word seemed to glare at me -  and I stared back at it as if we were in a standoff. In the moment, I wanted that word out of my way. But it wouldn’t move.

With my selfishness exposed and my vision impaired, I wasn't going anywhere good with that stance. I lost my reading battle and I was later convicted to offer an apology. I know the Lord was speaking to me in that instance, using the word “grace” as a reminder of what he gives to me even though I don’t deserve it. I was so full of myself that I couldn’t see anything but me - my pain, my struggles and what I felt I deserved. 

I am ashamed to say that the last thing on my mind was serving my loved one that day. Grace should have been the obvious way because I know I have been given so much. I also failed to remember that grace is never deserved. I should have known better! But then again, we are never more blinded than when we are the center of our own universe.

Remember Peter? He promised Jesus that he would stay by his side. But Jesus revealed what He already knew about Peter’s heart before it manifested. Jesus told Peter that he would deny Jesus three times before the rooster crows. Peter’s response was one of denial. I can imagine that he was thinking something like, “Lord, you have me pegged all wrong. I’m not like that!”

Isn’t that how we humans are? We don't really see our hearts for that they really are. And when we are blinded by who and what we are, our relationships suffer (especially the one with God). We may see bits and pieces of what’s in our heart but rarely do we see it very clearly - partly because we don't want to and partly because of our fallen nature. Let's face it, it totally crushes any sense of self esteem to see how helpless and wretched we are deep down.

I didn't write this to guilt you about your condition - whatever that may be. I wrote it, hoping that you will think about how much you really know about your own heart. Because it isn't until we are willing to see and accept our condition that we realize how desperate we are for an ongoing relationship with Jesus Christ. And even then, seeing our own heart is an on-going process.